Dependency

Dependency. What a nasty word. I am finding more and more just how nasty it can be. Some are dependent upon drugs, some alcohol, and many other vices - some are dependent upon other people.....well.....there I am! I am finding just how much of a dependent person I am . Is the right word for a psychology major co-dependent? HMMMM.....
I have always felt the need to be accepted and approved of. It has always killed me when I have not live up to others standards. My feelings get hurt easily, and my self esteem seems to always take a nose dive.
I also have a hard time being alone.....why is this? Am I scared of myself? Am I worried that I am spending time alone because no one else wants anything to do with me?
Here I am in a relationship with someone that has vowed their love to me, and I to them, and here I sit...downhearted because I have missed them tremendously all evening. I have spent 5 minutes with them in the past 12 hours and I feel that it has been a week!
Why is it that I miss so bad in such short time? Why is it that I worry because I don't hear from them every few hours? Am I scared of not being missed? Am I scared of being left or cheated?
I must find the root of this problem of mine. I don't know why I chose to blog about this, but I just needed to let it out somehow. I need to be happy within myself, even when alone.....I am just having a hard time finding something about myself to be happy about........
until the next time I need to vent about meaningless issues in the whole realm of things.....goodnight.