A roller coaster. Up then down. One day happy next day sad. One moment totally secure the next feeling the ropes slip from your hands.
I am at a loss. I wonder if it is better to feel love and security and then feel the unbearable pain of losing it, or if it is better to never feel love and security at all.
What or Who will always be with me? My children? no. Eventually they will grow and go on with their own lives. My partner? no. even if we make it as in fairy tales she nor I are immortal, we will perish.
My home will decay. My car will break down. My family has already left. Friends like me one day, the next they are done with me.
It has been said that God will always be with me, yet some say that God is nowhere near me now. Why can't he give me the secure feelings that I so desperately need? Shouldn't I be to the place at 33 years old that no matter what happens or who leaves I will still be O.K.?
Yes...I am messed up-well-today.....tomorrow?????
1 comment:
I think the only thing we can do is to find that place of security in ourselves. When we are secure in and of ourselves then we provide a foundation for all the other relationships in our life. We have to build all the relationships in our life on the foundation of who we are and the more solid and secure we are in who we are and who God made us to be then the more solid the other relationships are. If we build on sand then it blows away......build on a rock then we are secure and we have a place where relationships can come and go without tearing us down.
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