Avoidance

I am finding more and more that avoidance seems to be my defensive mechanism of choice. Some avoidance issues that I have noticed are; lack of interest in getting my mail, lack of interest in answering the phone, lack of desire to sleep, or truthfully I fear to sleep.
While not opening mail may save me from heartache, and not answering the phone may save me from a hurt, it seems to have little effect on everyone around me.
The lack of desire to sleep is now not only effecting myself, but those around me. I don't want to sleep for fear of nightmares that have become more severe and in depth during the last couple of months. I am starting to drag in my daily routine. It is harder getting housework or schoolwork finished, and my brain doesn't seem to be working the way it should. I am constantly forgetting information, and things I should be doing.
Here is the reason I am a little pissed off. There is someone that I wish I could leave in the past...some one that hurt me terribly. Why is it that this person is with me subconsciously, and in my dreams, well, nightmares. I want to sleep, I need to be rested, but it is easier said than done. I want to be ready for change and new life, but the negative keeps coming back. I think maybe I haven't totally surrendered my past and fears. I feel it is time, but how?